Secrets of a Gay Man revealed

So a lot of you probably find the stories concerning me told by Sebastian QUITE amusing. Well guess what. THEY ARE FALSE, MALICIOUS LIES!

I am not POOR. I don't get high EVERY DAY. And I didn't sell my cat for drug money! SHE'S SLEEPING ON THE COUCH RIGHT NOW OKAY? And also the one time I puked at his house he claims it it was neon pink. This is false. It was neon orange.

Ok if you didn't know Seb was telling alllll the mean stories about me which he's probably gunna post next!

Anyways, here are some VERY TRUE stories about Seb.


1) When Seb was a child he was terrified of a cup with a picture of a smiling duck on it. NO JOKE. Actually terrified.

2) Seb cried when his mom didn't let him go to the Billy Talent concert with me. I got to go, of course.

3) Once I had myspace but Seb's mom didn't allow him to have myspace (he was like 12) so he went on mine. But I was like FUCK THAT I LIKE PRIVACY so I changed my password then Seb started blackmailing me if I didn't give him my password he wouldn't get me an Underoath ticket!!!!

4) A few summers ago we were at my friends cabin and me and seb were in the room above the garage but he got all scared cause the 'spiders' and 'bugs' so we had to go back into the main cabin LOOLOL. He always is the little bitch women making me kill bugs and icky things.

5)Last year we were playing beach volleyball and I threw a grasshopper at Seb and he screamed and got mad at me and didn't play anymore.

6) Once I took my friends camera to school and I followed Seb into the bathroom and I put the camera over the top of the door and took a picture of him taking a dump and he bursts out all screaming and CRYING and made sure I deleted the pictures even though you couldn't see anything. SELF CONCIOUS?

7) Once in grade 8 my other friend lost a pair of my pants and I KNEW he lost them so Seb took HIS side when I was like UM HE LOST THEM and they didn't believ me and there was a big fight and guess what> HE FOUND MY PANTS! So seb looked like a huge loser when he should have been on my side and looked cool LMAO

8)Once I found Seb's journal and it was about in grade 5 or 6 and he was talking about his friend who fell on the monkey bars and got slightly hurt, like a scraped knee. But she's a drama queeeeeen...anyways this is what he wrote:
so and so fell off the monkey bars today and got hurt. Was I really about to lose my best bud?
LMAFO HOW RETARDED CAN U BE.


9) Seb had a lil boyfriend in grade 8 or something and he dumped him cause the bf wouldn't kiss him like DO IT URSELF.

10) Once Seb came over and he farted really loud in my bathroom and then I was like.
"I heard you"
and he started screaming with laughter cause he didnt know I was near by.


Ok this is a special moment me and Seb had. Once we were having a sleepover...this was like last summer. So we were talking before we go to sleep (we always do) and we were talking and getting all deep and Seb started crying because alot of my friends treated me like shit and he was sosoosos sad for me that it affected him that much and I started crying and yeah I'll never forget that moment!